Earlier in the week I created a blog entry detailing how to get rid of friends and flames; but in the ashes of destruction comes new life. In this blog entry lets discuss how to actually make new friends as an adult. A few years ago I read an article in a men’s magazine (I can’t find the damn thing!) stating that most adults in America stop making new friends once they hit 25 outside of major life changes like moving, kids, or a new job and even when they meet new people they don’t consider them at the same level of friendship compared people they met years ago and don’t talk to very much. I am pushing 30 and while I am blessed with many friends, I really can’t think of a new friend of I have made in the last four years barring my new neighbors and we really haven’t hit the going out phase (we are still in the “we should go out” phase). So how do you meet new people?
[Volunteer]
I think the best way to meet new people is to volunteer (for both friends and for dates). Think about it: These people are trying to make their town, city, or our world a better place, they have to be at least interesting enough to share a beer with. When I was single I use volunteered at the local animal shelter on weekends, homeless shelters, local educational events and I would say 70% of the time I would get a number. Besides the potential romantic possibilities, I met some cool people that were trying to make society a better place. This is a no brainer.
I would warn you that many volunteer organizations don’t let you start helping right away. You need to fill out applications and probably need to wait a few weeks. I noticed it was especially hard at the animal shelters. I guess they get enough help. Also – if you are looking for a romance, homeless shelters might not be the best place because the whole situation is depressing and if you are looking for love after a long day of helping the helpless, well… that’s pretty messed up.
Some links to local volunteer organizations (sorry this is South JerseyPhiladelphia-centric)
1. Philabundance: http://www.philabundance.org
2. Habitat for Humanity: http://www.habitat.org
3. Geeks Who Give: http://www.geekswhogive.org/
4. Gloucester County Animal Shelter : GCC Animal Shelter
5. PAWS (Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society): http://www.phillypaws.org
[Take A Class]
A great way meet people who are interested in the same things and learn something new is to take a class. Here is a funny story (again in my single days): I took a cooking class to try to see if I could meet girls at the local community college, when I got to the class it was a total sausage party, so of course I dropped out. I think a lot of guys get the idea they can meet somebody in a cooking class, but I think it is all bullshit. Take a class you are interested in or something you really need to learn. Right now my next class idea is general home repair and maybe a landscaping class – who knows I might meet some cool people to hang out with now that everyone I know has kids…
[Have Kids]
Everyone I know that has kids (with the exception of Lisa) tells me that when you have kids and they are in school you automagically start becoming friends with all the parents. This sounds equally awesome and terrible to me. I don’t know if “our kids go to the same school” is enough to sustain a friendship, but fuck it, I’d be willing to give it a try and so should you.
[Craigslist]
I read a funny article about a GQ writer who wanted to meet more black friends so he put an ad on Craigslist (article link: Click Here). While Craigslist is know for making different kind of connections, I honestly believe it could be a place for people to make legitimate connections. Just don’t be stupid. Meet in public places and don’t share your SSN or credit card numbers. And if they ask for your help to bury several large trash bags in the Pine Barrens say no, unless you are into that sort of thing.
[Join a Sports Club]
Sports clubs are a great way to meet new friends and get your ass into shape. It is almost a lock that people will want to hang out after practice or after a game. It might help to join with an existing friend because people usually sign up in groups, but honestly it doesn’t matter. Just make sure you sign up for your right skill level. If you are on a good team and suck, you will not make friends.
[Religion]
I am not an organized religion kinda guy which is why I am doing this one last. If you are looking for God or for Jesus, maybe you can find a drinking buddy on your journey. I have a few friends that still attend regularly and they say there a few reasons why church isn’t a good spot to meet people:
1. You already know everybody
2. People at church are already in cliques and stuck-up
3. Its weird to date someone from your church
I don’t know anything about this stuff, so if those points are true, that sucks. Maybe you can try a new church? I went to my friend’s baby’s baptism and the people at that church were super-friendly. Actually it was more creepy-friendly… but creepy people need friends too!
I have given you six ways to go out and meet new friends. I am done. Now get off your ass and find a buddy. Seriously, this is how I am ending this article.
Love,
~ Joey 🙂
