I am a news junkie. RSS feeds are like crack to me, I gobble up news bites like that are those little doughnut holes. I have noticed a trend in the news this summer and I wanted to share it with you: the “normal” recreational activities we do are simply idiotic. Lets take a look a few of the headlines
Girl’s Maimed at Six Flags
Read the article here: Local News Report
So this pretty teenage girl goes with her friends to the local amusement park and WHAM her feet get sliced off on the Superman ride. It is a horrible thing and I feel so bad for this girl, but lets step it back: Why the hell are human beings strapping themselves into a poorly protected brace and allowing ourselves to be slung into the air at over 60 mph? When did this become a good idea? We went from Ferris Wheels (which can also be problematic) and Merry-Go-Rounds (got nothing bad so say about the MGR) to high-speed lines of death.
Lets take it back even on step further. You go to these amusement parks, pay $40 bucks to get in, get overcharged for food, and you have to stand in line (in the heat) for 2 hours to even enjoy the good rides (or pay extra for the VIP treatment). What the hell is wrong with us? When did this become a good thing to do? If we one working brain cell when we are in the “mass populous” we would avoid these places like a broke whore avoids her pimp.
US Beaches Pollution Report
Read the article here: MSNBC Article
I will completely and freely admit that I am a little biased on this one. I am not sure how it is in other states, but the South Jersey shore has been pissing me off the last few years. First, in order to get there, you have to sit in traffic with every other asshole that wants to spend the weekend on the water. A 50 mile trip can take 3.5 hours. Once you get down there you get privilege of paying on average about $200 per night to stay at a place that looks like it was decorated with bad 70’s porn as inspiration. On top of that we are now hearing that the water “may be dirty”.
May be dirty? Let me tell you something… we dump our shit in the water; every country dumps their shit in the water. I don’t care how much “treatment” we give it before we release it; it’s still shit water. The ocean is the world’s toilet bowl. Lets take feces out of the equation, you still have to content will all these corporations that are dumping their wastes into the water. Ok we regulate it, but not that much and there is always illegal actions that are happening all the time (Remember when Dave Matthews Tour Bus driver dumped shit into the river – you don’t think that doesn’t happen with all these assholes that drive around in RVs?).
Let me heap on more misery. Sharks. Before 1918, it wasn’t “popular” to swim in the ocean, I guess people just went to the beach and stared at the water. Since the 1920’s we have been getting stories of people being bitten or eaten by sharks. Ever wonder why before the 1900’s we weren’t afraid of getting eaten in the water? Fishing.
A little history lesson for you: American culture as a whole isn’t too big on eating fish. The Lewis and Clark were buying dogs to eat from the Indians instead of just fishing (the Indian tribes laughed at them). The influx of Irish that came into the US during the 1800 was also not to fond of fish (look at the European fishing records during the “great potatoes famine” – there was plenty to eat besides meat and potatoes). Once Mediterranean cultures entered the US in force, the American diet started to change and we started to fish heavily and not just for Salmon and Cod. Shrimp, Lobster, Squid all started to appear on American plates and guess who was going hungry… the god damn sharks. So now the sharks have to venture closer to the shore to find food. So then the US started to “keep the shores safe” from the creatures that live in the water so we started going after the sharks and then guess what happened? The jellyfish thrived because sharks eat the jellyfish and when the sharks are gone, the jellies float on over to your foot and sting you. Don’t worry; if you need someone to piss on you, just come find me, you deserve it for going “down the shore” in the first place.
Hot Air Balloon Accident
Read the article here: Forbes Article
You know what… I am even going to try hard on this one. Who the hell goes several hundred feet in the air in a BASKET containing a large furnace? What goes through people’s mind?
The point of this rant is that I think people are just accustomed to doing things and we have stopped asking why we do them. Sure there are people who really love roller coasters – but if I never saw one again in my whole life, I could care less (and I will tell you I probably won’t unless there is a damn good reason). I will admin, I do enjoy the ocean, but I don’t like swimming in shit, so I have some work to do there (PS – why go to the Jersey shore and drop 1,000 bucks for a hotel for the week when you can go to Mexico – three words kids – Swim Up Bar).
Just because you did something when you were a kid doesn’t mean it is still worth doing. It isn’t 1964 anymore, 50% of The Beatles are dead, you are old and wrinkled – time to change it up.
