When socially drinking with Nate, it can really go only two ways: You want to kill him or you want to kiss him(or lets just say hug, he smokes too much). Last night was the kissing kind. Not to minimize everyone else’s participation in the first (probably not) annual “St. Patty’s in the Summer” bar crawl – but Nate appearances have become rare this year, and Nice Nate appearances when the agenda is drinking are all but unheard of. Last night Wagner came through.
Like last year’s TDP Bar Crawl (organized by Tom McCabe), we did the old college bar scene. The drinks are cheaper and so are the women. Allison, Nate, and I arrived first at the Mad Mex on 32nd and Samson and enjoyed a lovely meal outdoors. It is great to be able to eat outside of a college hot spot – all the kids trying to make their personal statements about life… Loudly. 
We just laughed our asses off as we saw people being “caricatures of themselves” (good one Jack – thanks). After three or four 22 oz margaritas Tee showed up and things took a raunchy turn that the night never recovered from. Tee is the nicest, most virginal girl there is, and of course I take great pleasure in trying to come up with the dirtiest statements possible to shock her (and Nate has no problems tagging along). Eventually Bill and Amani showed up and had another drink before moving on to our next destination.
Cavanaugh’s was the second choice and the bar was surprisingly well lit and quiet. The summer time really takes its toll on these bars, but it is welcome for us old timers who just want a place to sit down. After a few minutes, Mr. Sean Anderson showed up to complete the cast of characters. We made nice with one of the bartenders who was willing to make shots of a drink I invented a few years ago called the “Horny Leprechaun”. A few more drinks later it was time to move on to the Blarney Stone.
I should have known the Blarney was going to be a problem when I saw the karaoke monitors. Of course Nate and I were going to make the audience suffer through a drunken rendition of “Sweet Home Alabama” as we always do. After a carbomb, Nate submitted the paperwork. As we waited for our turn, a group of young drunk college girls did “Man I feel Like a Woman” – it was terrible, but thankfully short. We get called up, and about 30 seconds into the song and one of the young ladies informed us that we sucked. I proceeded to improvise on the lyrics and “give back”. While the audience enjoyed this improvisation, her boyfriend did not and decided to have a few words with me. I talked him down but decided that it would be best to split as he was giving Nate the dirty eye and Sean was looking ready for a throw down.
The night ended at my personal favorite, the New Deck. We enjoyed cheese fries, beer, and peanuts as our merry little crew disbanded one by one for the evening. Nate, Allison, and I walked back to my car to find that Philadelphia had given me a present – a parking ticket (apparently I was 20 minutes off on the meter). Oh well – got to fund the corruption somehow. Nate gave back to the city by pissing on the nearest building and we were on our way. Allison graciously volunteered to drive earlier so Nate and I could do our best impressions of 20 year olds throughout the night (remember kids don’t drink and drive).
While I have cut down on drinking for health and financial reasons, evenings like this are always good for the body and soul – a little excess hasn’t killed anyone – well at least not many. As my vision goes back to singular view and my stomach settles I laugh knowing that Nate is probably slobbering all over my bed right now cursing to himself that he should have stayed home. Sleep well sweet prince, sleep well.
